The Things I Said I’d Never Do Before Becoming a Mum

The Things I Said I’d Never Do Before Becoming a Mum

Before I became a mum, I had quite a few ideas about the kind of mother I would be.

I had rules.

Things I was definitely going to do. Things I was definitely never going to do.

And then I had Rae.

And suddenly, motherhood taught me that you can have all the plans in the world… but sometimes the things you thought you’d never do become the things that feel completely right for you and your family.

So, here are a few things I said I’d never do before becoming a mum…

1. Co-sleeping

A very hard no.

Mummy and Daddy’s bed was for Mummy and Daddy. It was our space, our time, and I was absolutely convinced our baby would sleep happily in her own cot.

Fast forward to now…

Co-sleeping is pretty much a non-negotiable for us.

And honestly? I love it.

I love the closeness. I love waking up next to my little girl. I loved being able to breastfeed through the night without having to get up and go anywhere. I love those sleepy cuddles, little hands reaching for me and waking up to that little face right beside me.

There’s something incredibly special about all that extra touch and closeness. It feels so natural to us.

And it’s not just me. Daddy absolutely loves having Rae in our bed too.

What used to be our space now feels like the hub of our little family. Somehow, our bed feels fuller, warmer and more complete with her in it.

And I know this won’t last forever.

One day she won’t climb into our bed looking for a cuddle. One day she’ll have her own room, her own bed and probably very little interest in ours!

So for now, I’m soaking it all up.

2. Not sleep training

From the moment Rae was born, I knew I wouldn’t leave her to cry if I had the power not to.

The idea of leaving my baby to cry it out just felt incredibly alien to me. It didn’t sit right with me personally.

I couldn’t get my head around being with my baby all day, tending to her needs, comforting her, responding to her… and then bedtime comes around and suddenly I’m expected to leave her in a dark room to cry.

It just wasn’t for our family.

Instead, I decided to breastfeed my little lady to sleep every night, and I still do.

If she wakes during the night, I go to her.

I’ve never wanted her to feel like she needs to cry for me before I’ll come.

And actually, I’ve found that responding to her hasn’t stopped her from becoming independent. Quite the opposite.

I’ve watched her confidence grow so much as she’s got older, and now she’ll often sleep through or wake just once during the night.

But I think the biggest thing I’ve learnt is that there isn’t one right way to do sleep.

Every baby is different. Every family is different. And what works beautifully for one family might be completely wrong for another.

There is absolutely no judgement here.

This is simply what felt right for us.

3. Breastfeeding

Before becoming a mum, I never imagined I’d still be breastfeeding a toddler.

But here I am… 17 months in.

And the only reason I’m stopping now is because I’m pregnant with our second baby and my milk supply has almost completely disappeared.

I honestly didn’t realise this could happen when I fell pregnant again.

Rae and I aren’t really ready to stop.

She still feeds, although at this point it’s mainly for comfort because she’s not getting much milk.

And I think that’s what breastfeeding has become for us, so much more than food.

It’s comfort.

It’s connection.

It’s cuddles.

It’s reassurance.

It’s a little moment between just the two of us.

Breastfeeding Rae has felt like a huge achievement for me and it’s something I’ve genuinely loved, and still love doing.

Because I know we’re coming towards the end of this chapter, I’ve started documenting my breastfeeding journey through Family Story Club.

I’ve been recording my thoughts, feelings and memories so that one day Rae can hear my voice talking about this very special part of our lives.

It’s something I know I’ll treasure.

And hopefully, one day, she will too.

4. Screens & technology

This was another very strong no before I became a mum.

I was absolutely going to limit screens.

And while we do keep screens to a minimum, I also want to be completely honest…

Ms Rachel saves us sometimes. 😂

There are those rare occasions when we need to get some work done, finish a task, make an important phone call, or sometimes when Mummy simply needs ten minutes to breathe.

And do you know what?

I’m okay with that.

If Rae is at somebody else’s house and the TV is on, we’re also not going to march in and ask them to turn it off. 😆

Motherhood has taught me that everything doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

We’re mindful about what she watches and how much, but I’m also learning to give myself a bit of grace.

Sometimes you just need ten minutes.

And that’s okay.

5. Homemade food only

Oh, who was I kidding?

Before having a baby, I imagined wholesome, homemade, organic meals lovingly prepared from scratch every single day.

And don’t get me wrong, I do love making food for Rae.

But then there are the long car journeys.

The days out.

The moments when you’ve packed what feels like the entire contents of your kitchen and somehow still don’t have anything suitable to eat.

Enter…

Ella’s Kitchen organic pouches. 🙌

Honestly, they’re a lifesaver.

Especially when you’re out and about and you can’t refrigerate that lovely home-cooked meal you’ve made.

And I’ve realised something:

Everything in moderation.

What works for one family might not work for another, and what fits into your lifestyle is important too.

The most important thing is that your baby is happy, healthy, fed and loved.

Sometimes that looks like a homemade meal.

Sometimes it looks like an Ella’s Kitchen pouch eaten in the back of the car.

And sometimes… it’s whatever gets everyone through the day. 😂

To sum it all up….

Maybe that’s the funny thing about motherhood…

You start with all these rules.

All these expectations.

All these ideas about the mother you’re going to be.

And then you meet your baby.

And suddenly, the things you thought you’d never do become the things you can’t imagine doing any other way.

Co-sleeping.

Breastfeeding.

Responding in the night.

Cuddling a little body that has somehow taken over your entire bed.

Putting on Ms Rachel when you desperately need ten minutes.

Pulling an organic pouch out of your bag when you’re miles from home.

Taking hundreds of photographs of essentially the same little face.

Saving every tiny memory.

Maybe I wasn’t wrong about all those things I thought I’d never do.

Maybe I just didn’t know my child yet.

Because once you meet them, everything changes.

And perhaps that’s one of the biggest lessons motherhood has taught me:

The days can feel long, but the years really are short.

The things that feel so ordinary today, the sleepy cuddles, the bedtime feeds, the little voices, the messy meals, the tiny hands reaching for you, will one day be memories.

And that’s why I’ve become so passionate about capturing them.

Not just the perfect photographs.

But the voices.

The stories.

The little moments.

The things we say and do that we might otherwise forget.

Because one day, I want Rae to be able to look back and hear what her childhood sounded like.

And that’s exactly why we created Family Story Club.

Not because we think there’s one perfect way to parent.

But because every family has a story worth remembering.